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Positive Kink for the Adult Industry

6/15/2015

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Over the past six months I've been talking with the adult industry to help positive kink fun and safety make it's way into the mainstream with a more informed and responsible approach.

Well I'm very proud to announce that prestigious leather brand Rouge & renowned award-winning retailer Nice 'n' Naughty have agreed to a unique three-way partnership supplying educational & safety guidance for customers of kink, fetish and BDSM products.

What's more, this week sees the roll-out of our joint promotion throughout Nice 'n' Naughty's UK national retail chain at stores in
Bangor, Bolton, Brighton, Bristol, Chester, Leeds, Liverpool, Newcastle, Southport, Warrington and Wigan.
The aim is to guide BDSM toy, equipment and gear buyers by offering a promo-priced kink education Android app, where readers will – for the first time – be able to access directly specifically chosen Rouge and Nice 'n' Naughty BDSM gear and toys featured in our The Book of Kinky Sex Games app's sixty-nine session 'recipes' for fun and safe kink play.

Rouge ranges featured include its luxury padded ankle cuffs, blindfolds and adjustable wrist to neck restraints, all made using their exquisite leather from trusted tanneries. Nice 'n' Naughty items include bestseller essentials like vibrators, plugs, lube and massage oils. App users will be able to visualise and learn exactly what item of equipment each kinky practice requires while also offering the chance to shop and order instantly from their smart-phones.

The collaboration will not only be promoted by in-store 10,000 flyers and tags but be buttressed by live workshops (coming soon!) on safer adult play, as well as regular blogs on this site. Additionally, Nice 'n' Naughty shoppers will also be able to get the android app (originally priced £6.99) of The Book of Kinky Sex Games through Google Play at less than half price (£2.99) for a limited time.

Leather manufacturer Rouge Garments UK has highlighted the increasing desire for quality bondage gear in the mainstream and praised the bridge-building between experts from the adult industry and the kink scene uniting to provide a modern and educational approach for buyers.

Retailers Nice 'n' Naughty too are no strangers to providing customer satisfaction. Founded 15 years ago, they were voted the UK's Best Adult Retail Chain for six years and the only adult industry firm to receive the Investors in People accreditation. Retail Director Trish Murray stated that Nice 'n' Naughty was formed "with one clear aim: To offer the customer a comfortable environment to shop that will stimulate their imaginations, without boundaries or taboos. All our members of staff have the knowledge and training to ensure the customer has the best advice and service in the adult industry."

On Nice 'n' Naughty teaming up with Rouge and our positive kink crusade, Trish Murray added: "We have a vast array of products that fulfil desires from vanilla to kink, and to be involved with The Book of Kinky Sex Games app, offers all its readers the perfect space and products to learn, explore and grow.  With the release of Fifty Shades of Grey film, DVD and subsequent sequels, we have seen a further increase in the demand of quality BDSM items, and we have therefore decided to help our customer further explore their desires with this partnership."

As the fetish and BDSM world can sometimes appear daunting, scary or snooty to newcomers it makes sense for the positive kink championed by myself and my site, book, app and social media sites to ally with such respected names in the adult industry, and I personally couldn't be happier.

For the people I represent it's about care, education, quality and accountability.
We have
newbie’s
looking to try things out and experts looking to invest in well-made and robust products. The Rouge stuff looks and feels amazing, while Nice 'n' Naughty couldn't be more helpful. And as both firms are celebrated for their attention to detail and customer service, I have peace of mind that our campaign to give adult players the chance to realize their wildest dreams will continue to happen in the most supportive way possible. All round, I reckon this is a very cool project.

For more info visit:
Rouge Garments products
Nice 'n' Naughty
Google Play Android App – The Book of Kinky Sex Games


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Consensuality, the Teacher of Now

6/9/2015

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Reprinted from our Facebook page, first published in 2014, ©Once & Future Books/Jackson Rocco, All Rights Reserved.
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Hello my fellow positive kinksters,

Today I want to tackle a serious subject.

Recently I read a curious blog sent round Facebook involving a UKIP MEP Roger Helmer.
In it he backs up Ken Clarke's claim that rape can be defensible in certain circumstances.

This is important to us as this is all about consent.
As we know anyone wishing to involve themselves in kink, fetish and BDSM activity needs to abide by the common code of safety, sanity and consensuality.

Perhaps if you have a shoe fetish, you may not need to ask the actual shoe if you can sniff it. But you know what I mean, I'm talking about not hurting others permanently, either emotionally, physically or mentally.

Consensuality is a kind of made up word, it's not really in most dictionaries, it's a kink scene word, but you get the idea. It sounds more romantic than 'consensus'. (See Consensuality in Safety First in The Book of Kinky Sex Games.)

With regards to kink then, consent is about giving each other permission to play.
It's about caring coupling and respecting our partner and ourselves within a realm of trust and security. Now that is the same as all love and sex really, isn't it?

Except the using and abusing one another for agreed mutual happiness bit of course.

Any form of intimate good times with someone else all comes down to the simple idea that we WANT it to happen. It is something BOTH desire to take place.
And within a BDSM session the focus is intense and the concentration is heightened as both partners are looking out for each other in the now. 
Why? Because both want adult fun without hate and dire consequences.

If together you both don't have the mutual desire one can't force the other against their will, this is undoubtedly wrong.
This goes against everybody's moral code. Why? 

Because no one would like it happening to them.
I'm sure if our Roger Helmer met a friendly UKIP voter in a bar in Brussels who then took him sexually against his will in his hotel room he wouldn't like it. Especially if the perpetrator said they did it because he was getting all the right signals from Roger, or didn't get any negative ones. Or even said: "Roger led me on, the way he was dressed like that, or I read his blog and I think we can both agree some rapes are defensible."

This hypothetical situation is, of course, absurd. 
As absurd the argument that purports to stand for justice by saying that any woman or anyone asks to be taken against their will. 

Is the doubt in defensible rape perpetuated by the idea that 'men are men' and past a certain point, aren't culpable? 

Because I would offer that genuine masculine toughness or 'manning up' is about taking any kind of knock-back or rejection on the chin. Regardless, at all times a man or active partner of any gender, has a responsibility of a duty of care to watch for positive or negative reactions to their solicitations. Not from some kind of legal obligation or sliding scale of how far animal behaviour equals sexiness, but from the knowledge that this is how all great love, sex and adult play blossoms in the first place!

Failed suitors are well aware:

It doesn't matter how the courtship goes – drinks, dinner, money, weeks on end, every effort under the sun – whatever the trade-off, if the 'object of desire' says no, there is nothing to be done. In essence the problem – if a relationship hasn't been consummated – is most likely the belief in the concept of 'trade off' itself, like sex is a debt. It also reveals that 'not getting it' is a problem. As is 'object of desire'. The 'failed' part of failed suitor is not seeing past this cynicism. As Madonna sang: "Poor is the man whose pleasures are dependent on another."

The same goes double for kink practices: You can't make someone else suddenly appreciate your idiosyncratic pursuits or put the onus of your future happiness on them.

So what to do? Here are four simple guidelines to help clarify mutual consent.

COMMUNICATE YOUR DESIRES
1. All potential partners need to communicate what they want and what they don't want. No matter how difficult it is, learn to speak it out. Don't ever assume texting, signals, emails and a 'good time out drinking' means a promise of anything.

BE STRONG ENOUGH TO WALK AWAY
2. Active partners finding it difficult to control their passion need to learn to be able to shut down, walk away and be more contrite if there is a feeling of discomfort from their partner. The pursuance of getting your rocks off or getting your kinks is not lovemaking: It's one-sided, it's unrequited. It's only a self-interested, singular desire.

GIVE ATTENTION BECAUSE YOU WANT TO
3. Be attentive, at all times, one hundred per cent.
Well, try your best to be. You'll find you'll want to be with the right person. Der!

BE IN THE MOMENT WITH YOUR PARTNER

4. Listen to and read your lover's desires. Do unto others and spiral up your joy. 

When making any love-making, sex or adult play work or happen we find that nature shows us these mirroring rules
...Thankfully this stuff is obvious to most people.

And what is remarkable about our kindness and willingness to create love and exciting kink is because most of aren't actually with our perfect partner. As Willie Nelson said: “Ninety-nine percent of the world's lovers are not with their first choice. That's what makes the jukebox play.” 

But what about these selfish perpetrators of forced sex? 

Of course, they are out there, and many can be avoided. If they are an active pig then their decided, primal manner may excite you: just never assume they are your pet. Luckily, such sex-psychos are rare.

On the flipside, and an even smaller minority, what about the passive wrongdoers who cry wolf? Yes, unfortunately they exist. And their undecided, oversensitive natures can also be accounted for and avoided should we wish to avoid complications.

But in my opinion to repeal the law to make rape defensible simply because of the risk of wrongful prosecution is reckless. 

It just promotes a society where consent is relegated to a cloudy issue that only gets debated when it finally goes down to court.

What we actually need to do is promote consensuality not only as a compulsory common tenet, but as a perpetual curator of intuition we can all keep learning from. We need to encourage boys becoming men to respect women better, because by hatefully crossing it male perpetrators reveal themselves as poor or incomplete. We need to show them that manliness is about building and protecting, not taking.

Conversely, by withholding consent purely to control for it's own sake, one reveals not only an insecure need for attention and care, but a personal paradigm where some become sellers that can't be generative by natural means.

We are all better than this, because if we watch and listen, the guiding spirit of consensuality instinctively raises us to be more attentive and in the moment, always.

Keep on being safe, sane and consensual,
Jackson ; )

Link to The Book of Kinky Sex Games the Android App.

©2014/2015 Once and Future Books/Jackson Rocco. All RightsReserved.


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Slurry Guy, Dolphin Woman and Hoover Man

6/1/2015

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Picture
Reprinted from our Facebook page, first published in 2014, 
©Once & Future Books/Jackson Rocco, All Rights Reserved.

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Howdy Hi My Stylish Perves,

Today is a quick breeze through three potentially megasick situations that cropped up on the Interfet over the past year.

I'm talking about Slurry Guy, Dolphin Woman and Hoover Man.

Why discuss them?
Aren't we playing into the hands of the sensationalist kind of journalism that brought these stories to our attention?

I guess to a certain extent yes. But I feel it's important that as my book takes a definite positive kink stance on the alternative sex version of the world, we need to explore and express our views. In no way should the dazzling headlights of the extremity in these cases faze us: for we are the happy, kinky rabbits who know that our practices are safe, sane and consensual.

Can we can thus apply these ideas to the following unfortunate events to help us be less ignorant and more humane?
I think we can at least try. 

You may already know about Slurry Guy, David Truscott, infamous for having a cow slurry fetish. I'll say it again, cow slurry fetish. This chap's passion was oft to find him rolling around naked in the stuff down in Redruth, Cornwall way. David's interest began with cow pats and then obviously, I mean, naturally escalated. You can read the full story here.

His deal was that his fetish drove him to seek out more dirt – literally – to the point where it seems the illicit procurement of it (pats, slurry) was part of the thrill. So far, so gooey.

Then there is Dolphin Woman.
Margaret Howe was a researcher studying the dolphin when her subject 'Peter', a pretty horny devil of a mammal in need of constant relief was 'helped out' with massage therapy to make him less of a distraction to other dolphins. What started as a necessary practice turned into an intimate bonding between human Howe and cetacean Peter.

The relationship manifested because the experiment involved 24-hour close proximity. When the work was finished Peter lost the will to live, because he had fallen in love with his human female (scientist) mate. Shipped to a new home the crestfallen dolphin sank to the bottom of his tank, denied himself oxygen that air-breathing mammals need to live and took his own life. 

The temptation with both these tragic stories is to focus on perversion as somehow the cause. It's what makes news and gets us all excited, and only in the dramatic way. In both stories we are focused on extremes, but in both cases we are still dealing with unknowns.

In cow-slurry fan David's case he is on the autism spectrum and is now serving 10 years plus five under licence. Where he went wrong was that he was causing damage and fear, and his reckless behaviour resulted in the death of a calf when he set fire to a barn. Up till the moment before he was trespassing and breaking laws you could argue that all he would want for is a barrel of cow slurry to play in. An odd hobby yes, but if nobody got hurt or was intimidated, who would care? The story comes to our attention because others have been alarmed or harmed in some way.

In Margaret's case, she is a scientist and so the moral debate is part of a cycle of biological studies. It's easy to say in hindsight what they should have done, but the truth is, ironically they were finding out. They all knew Peter was a force of nature for whom consent was not a concern.  But could the scientists have not drawn a line or not provided a mate for Peter?  Was it not presumptuous to give Peter's dolphin balls 'an empty', as they say in Bolton? 

It's more complicated when you realise that dolphins have retractable hand-like penises that can swivel round and literally 'feel' you: making them extraordinarily randy.
So when people go for that once in a lifetime spiritual swim with the dolphins those gleeful, click-training mammals are more likely echo-locating you with raw and rotary sexual friskiness. Some swimmers are aware of this, most are not. But it's interesting how animal behaviour seems more innocent though, and more fascinating how we humans Disney-fy and anthropomorphize the whole affair: Or rely on humanizing animals to make a connection.

The truth is, when us humans get in the mix with our pursuits, whether noble or passion-driven we have to be careful. This not only naturally goes for all other sentient creatures and their living spaces, but ultimately to ourselves. David's cow slurry fetish and Peter's dolphin nature to indiscriminately find gratification (in his case leading to love) in themselves are not immoral: these urges just are.

Both the case above, extreme and exceptionally rare as they are, highlight the same ideas of responsibility and respectfulness that any alternative sex practice requires. There was no safety, sanity or consensulaity framework for David or Peter's desires, wherever we think the onus lies. And so of course it's not proper wrong-sex, because ultimately it has a wrongful result, and the sad consequences confirm this.

But what about Hoover Man?
That's a story that's been floating around for about five years now, also perennially revived by the Interfet. A cleaner from Poland was found in flagrante with 'Henry the Hoover' . Apparently he was cleaning his underpants, a 'common practice in Poland' it was claimed. The poor sucker wasn't doing anyone any harm, he just got caught vacuum-pipe-handed that's all, and was later fired from his job for giving himself a 'polish'. 

Should we vilify anyone for having sex with inanimate objects?
Especially when those most natural of animals dolphins have been known to? I'm not so sure it warrants a sexual breach of the peace if no one is hurt. In October 2013 Robert Stewart was found having sex with a bicycle by two cleaners with a master key. Personally I'd see that as an intrusion of privacy. So what does it matter to anybody? Whatever gets you through the night is alright and all that...

Equally out there are the gentlemen who have had sex with pavements and lamp-posts.
I'm not kidding.

Okay, so we can draw a line.
These bad boys were done for a breach of public decency, as well they should. It's bang out of order, the streets are crowded enough with people who don't know how to eat, drink, walk or talk, let alone fornicate.

These chaps need to read my book which features stacks of tips to help singles get out there and find a loving partner using a framework of safety, sanity and consensuality – with perhaps a like-minded taste for adventure. Though to be fair I can't guarantee their future partners will also be into Henry the Hoover sex or dung play.

Farewell for now, stay clean, have fun and play safe,
Jackson ; )
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    Jackson's Blog
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    Jackson Rocco is a
    lifestyle writer, event speaker & author of
    The Book of Kinky Sex Games
    utilizing 20 years experience practicing

    safe, sane, consensual fetish, kink & BDSM.
    As well as being a
    nightlife journalist
    for Skin Two, LateXtra
     magazine and Denmark's 3xL webzine, he has also contributed to the
    womens' sex magazine Scarlet and The Guardian's
    G2. For FAQs see page 4 of The Book of Kinky Sex Games or the Culture
    Kiddo interview
     in World Domination.

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