You think you got tolerance problems? Try living in India
With such inflammatory atmospheres and diverse religious and caste attitudes, it's obviously a minefield being kinky in a complex culture like India's. Spoke to someone there recently about being Indian and into fetish and BDSM in the wake of recent international focus on mistreatment of women, controversial rape cases and the legal upholding of the criminalising of gay sex (now thankfully being fought against back in the courts).
My source told me: "Being kinky in India isn't simple. Between people's conservative (and often antiquated) mindsets and the law that criminalises any kind of sex 'against the order of nature', whatever that means, or shows little respect for presumption of innocence you need to be motivated to be kinky."
But there is help in the shape of The Kinky Collective. Here's an article written by one of the group, a personal foray into Playing With Love, re: BDSM, which rang some bells of truth for me. The group can also be found on Fetlife, using the search facility.
With such inflammatory atmospheres and diverse religious and caste attitudes, it's obviously a minefield being kinky in a complex culture like India's. Spoke to someone there recently about being Indian and into fetish and BDSM in the wake of recent international focus on mistreatment of women, controversial rape cases and the legal upholding of the criminalising of gay sex (now thankfully being fought against back in the courts).
My source told me: "Being kinky in India isn't simple. Between people's conservative (and often antiquated) mindsets and the law that criminalises any kind of sex 'against the order of nature', whatever that means, or shows little respect for presumption of innocence you need to be motivated to be kinky."
But there is help in the shape of The Kinky Collective. Here's an article written by one of the group, a personal foray into Playing With Love, re: BDSM, which rang some bells of truth for me. The group can also be found on Fetlife, using the search facility.
Combatulations are in order
My friend Max(ine) recently met a girl who told her she had a combat fetish. She asked the lady in question we took to calling 'Private Benjamin' to define that and in essence what was yearned for was a kind of fighting foreplay, 'like lions'. I then wondered where that would lead and asked Max what Private B reckoned the cut-off point was. Apparently the reply came that there wasn't one, replete with a shrug and a mischievous smile.
Max told me that initially she was intrigued to try, expressing a curiosity; but ultimately didn't chase Private B as she thought better of bringing out her strength in uncontrolled violence or anger, especially with a same-sex lover. Max is tall, 6ft (think Gwendoline Christie from Game of Thrones) and tends to takes things personally. Also, Private B enjoyed sleeping around and was not really in the bracket for a relationship. Max added in a text: 'If I go there with all this emotion and effort then don't connect, WTF?"
She also realised, perhaps her prospective pugilist was just trying to replicate the girl she started the fetish with. And according to Private B that didn't end well.
I'm proud of Max, a good swerve. I share the same natural intolerance for people who seem to have an open-end jazz attitude to any edge play kink practice when the ideas aren't really formed in their own mind or harking after something lost: Especially when it appears presented in that 'Hey I do S/M and I'm cool' kind of way. There's controlled and consensually arranged danger – which is bloody great fun –and then there's gloves off recklessness. Max is still friends with Private B and has helped hook her up with some fetish and LGBT connections. But yeah, she wasn't knocked out.
Bedposts
This 50 Kinky Ideas For a Sexy Relationship was a cute find as it seemed to replicate most of the Beginners Games suggestions in my book and app. It's easy to dismiss simple 'sex shop' influences into our kinky repertoire, but so many of these ideas can be preludes, digressions or add-ons for a play session, especially for fun.
I also read this: There's A Big Benefit to BDSM That Nobody's Talking About which includes a nice description of sub and top space. The article essentially points out that it helps you relax. Well, this we know, unless you are planning on fighting like unloving lions of course.
My friend Max(ine) recently met a girl who told her she had a combat fetish. She asked the lady in question we took to calling 'Private Benjamin' to define that and in essence what was yearned for was a kind of fighting foreplay, 'like lions'. I then wondered where that would lead and asked Max what Private B reckoned the cut-off point was. Apparently the reply came that there wasn't one, replete with a shrug and a mischievous smile.
Max told me that initially she was intrigued to try, expressing a curiosity; but ultimately didn't chase Private B as she thought better of bringing out her strength in uncontrolled violence or anger, especially with a same-sex lover. Max is tall, 6ft (think Gwendoline Christie from Game of Thrones) and tends to takes things personally. Also, Private B enjoyed sleeping around and was not really in the bracket for a relationship. Max added in a text: 'If I go there with all this emotion and effort then don't connect, WTF?"
She also realised, perhaps her prospective pugilist was just trying to replicate the girl she started the fetish with. And according to Private B that didn't end well.
I'm proud of Max, a good swerve. I share the same natural intolerance for people who seem to have an open-end jazz attitude to any edge play kink practice when the ideas aren't really formed in their own mind or harking after something lost: Especially when it appears presented in that 'Hey I do S/M and I'm cool' kind of way. There's controlled and consensually arranged danger – which is bloody great fun –and then there's gloves off recklessness. Max is still friends with Private B and has helped hook her up with some fetish and LGBT connections. But yeah, she wasn't knocked out.
Bedposts
This 50 Kinky Ideas For a Sexy Relationship was a cute find as it seemed to replicate most of the Beginners Games suggestions in my book and app. It's easy to dismiss simple 'sex shop' influences into our kinky repertoire, but so many of these ideas can be preludes, digressions or add-ons for a play session, especially for fun.
I also read this: There's A Big Benefit to BDSM That Nobody's Talking About which includes a nice description of sub and top space. The article essentially points out that it helps you relax. Well, this we know, unless you are planning on fighting like unloving lions of course.
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