This week our columnist, feminist sub Nicky Ives, is caught in the friendly fire of persuasion engendering
"Do you think it's possible I'm a lesbian?"
This was the start of a long text conversation with a friend, who sent me the message.
I mean, I guess anything's possible, in theory....
So I asked him what made him think that way.
"Well, I think my brain is a little over half woman.
And I'm attracted to women that are a bit like guys, or have similar qualities.
But physically, I'm more attracted to women than men."
Now I'm about as far away from an expert on such things as it's possible to be.
I'm a straight-ish
suburban
church-going
kink loving
nearly middle aged mother
and student.
But I'm open minded, which may be why he chose me to ask!
So, I invited him to explore a bit more of his feelings/ sexuality, especially as he'd been married (to a woman) and recently divorced.
He says he's just discovering this side of himself.
He likes to dress up, but not necessarily in women's clothing.
He has fantasies of being heavily dominated/ degraded by women, although his only actual kink experience has been with other men.
This guy lives near Brighton.
Personally I thought it would be the ideal place to explore some of this stuff, but he doesn't know where to start finding out who he is. So... I pointed him in the direction of the FetLife website, and a few others I thought might help.
So, the question is this: Is it possible to be a man who feels more female and is attracted to women? In essence, being a male lesbian?
Then came the best bit.
A message from his ex-wife, saying she thought her straight, heterosexual ex-husband would be perfect for me. This was about as far from the truth as it gets; but I told her I wasn't interested... as I'd finally met someone.
Which actually is true.
But I'm out of time so you'll have to wait until next week ;)
Nicky x
This was the start of a long text conversation with a friend, who sent me the message.
I mean, I guess anything's possible, in theory....
So I asked him what made him think that way.
"Well, I think my brain is a little over half woman.
And I'm attracted to women that are a bit like guys, or have similar qualities.
But physically, I'm more attracted to women than men."
Now I'm about as far away from an expert on such things as it's possible to be.
I'm a straight-ish
suburban
church-going
kink loving
nearly middle aged mother
and student.
But I'm open minded, which may be why he chose me to ask!
So, I invited him to explore a bit more of his feelings/ sexuality, especially as he'd been married (to a woman) and recently divorced.
He says he's just discovering this side of himself.
He likes to dress up, but not necessarily in women's clothing.
He has fantasies of being heavily dominated/ degraded by women, although his only actual kink experience has been with other men.
This guy lives near Brighton.
Personally I thought it would be the ideal place to explore some of this stuff, but he doesn't know where to start finding out who he is. So... I pointed him in the direction of the FetLife website, and a few others I thought might help.
So, the question is this: Is it possible to be a man who feels more female and is attracted to women? In essence, being a male lesbian?
Then came the best bit.
A message from his ex-wife, saying she thought her straight, heterosexual ex-husband would be perfect for me. This was about as far from the truth as it gets; but I told her I wasn't interested... as I'd finally met someone.
Which actually is true.
But I'm out of time so you'll have to wait until next week ;)
Nicky x
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